hang me up to dry..i've been rung out too many times.

so....
after the convo i had with the head of the department...i um. might need to rethink my um path or something.
...could write so much. could rant so much. but i am so done. yet no. it's like i'm at mile 20 in a marathon and someone just tripped you, you fell, you're injured, you don't know if you can finish the race. but you've already come 20 miles so far. so what if it was at a 15 minute mile pace b/c you didn't train enough. b/c you thought you could handle this marathon b/c you know how to run and you're an athlete and tons of ppl run marathons and..and...
so maybe i can write about it. the person tripping me would be the department head. the finish line is just the fuckin semester. i don't know if i will be allowed back next semester. yeah i've been running that bad. the whole full time job and school full time. god it fuckin sucks. and it shows. in my work. very apparantly. but they don't care. they don't care that you're injured. or why you're sick, or how you're holding up.
i really want to be an art teacher . but now, i don't know what my options are at this point. i was doing well. i was doing ok. then all o a sudddenly i had a bunch of projects due ..and it took longer than i anticipated..and a bunch of other stuff happened in my life as well.
and they act like they care...but they don't. i could tell them - hey my brother had a fuckin brain tumor removed the day i interviewed for this program and he's currently undergoing chemo. but they don't fuckin care.
maybe..i just drop out. and just do a whole bunch of volunteer teaching and subsitute teaching and then apply at the corcoran and yeah, take out a shit ton of loans and hey, maybe i'll work in the DC public schools.
or maybe i can learn another language and join the peace corp.
maybe ill marry some rich guy and i can just be a freelance designer and artist
maybe i'll turn into a pumpkin at fuckin midnight.
at least then i could be made into a pie. right now i'm only good enough to be on the bottom of someone's shoe.