biking away from the county

With my cruise to Alaska a month away I have gone into panic mode. and by panic I mean emergency weight loss mode. bring on the whey shakes and hours of bike riding. I was reading recently that for someone of my weight to lose 1 lb of body fat I can bike 72 miles, run 34 or walk 42...oh and have 64 sessions of sex. which would equate to me needing to have um sessions ooh about um 1900 times. well, actually it'd be more, b/c for someone who weighs 30 bs less than me, they need to have fun times 79 times. So, since I am single, this is not an option. And with the whole HIV scare in the porn industry, it doesn't look like that(becoming a porn star) is an option for me right now as well. Well, that and the fact that I wouldn't want to destroy the good family name and all. plus ron jeremy is icky. and by icky i mean he look like something a walrus crapped out.
Although, that could make a good pick up line. "excuse me, but would you please help me in my weight loss goal? I need to have sex about 2000 times in order to fit into a bikini."
hmm. yeah. so on the bike I go! just need to pedal er over 2000 miles in a month! just 72 miles a day... hmm ...er. 2k happy times seems much more fun. But if you see some chick biking all around NOVA, it's prob me, b/c I still can't get a date.

So in a post a week or so ago I wrote about how Fairfax CITY is the #3 place to live in by forbes. Not COUNTY. CITY. Yes our adorable little historic town which is surrounded by the ever growing and monstrous COUNTY.
So Proof positive that people in leadership roles are godamn idiots; a COUNTY board member wants to change the name of fairfax county to fairfax city. here, read on:
http://tiny.cc/xpgpQsigh
I'm just glad I wasn't part of electing this jackass to the board. OK here we go 1) you're a fuckin idiot. 2) don't try to steal out fuckin thunder. we're #3, not you, nope. us. with the good budgets and low taxes and crime rates stuff. pffllt. 3) do you have any fuckin clue how much money it would cost to rebrand all your shit from county to city 4) do you have any idea how much godamn confusion that would cause ppl? 5) do you know what that hole between your ass cheaks is? yeah its called your asshole which you are, so try not to speak form it.
The board members main argument is about road maintenance. The former supervisor, now a congressman thinks its a bad idea given the current budget shortfalls -ooh only 350 million gap. the current head supervisor thinks its ok to take a look at it. but she was also part of the whole 350 million gap too. so i reallly wouldn't trust her when it comes to making decisions on well, anything. maybe what color shoes she should wear. nah, she'd prob wear brown with black slacks.
wow, you know you're getting old when local politics piss you off.
I should use that energy to bike about 72 miles today

this entry brought to you by

sam adams and um tequila and dos equis...er yeah
king size bed sheets- most esp fitted ones- can come in handy in case of fire. use them as a parachute- grab and jump from 3rd floor balcony. this hasn't been proven as safe as of yet. but ya know just in case.it's an idea and an option
there is no shame in jello wrestling. its important life skills really.
the minute the antibiotics kick in is right around happy hour.
begone swine flu as i await my hangover in the morning

#3 Place to live in!..according to Forbes

That's right folks! This gal here is a resident of the #3 Place to live in the U.S.! ...according to Forbes. That's totally the reason I haven't moved to the city yet...mm hmm. Not b/c there is no way I can sell my place in this market and I have to fix it up big time before I can rent it out. But yeah. ya know. Number 3! It makes me feel better about not having moved to the city yet and being in the 'burbs of DC.
The article cites various factors in their decision making process, such as tax rates, independent water sources (we get out water from a spring...it's even bottled-the brita filter in my fridge is only for emergencies), affordable living, and household income (89k! hahahhaa...I SO do not contribute to that attribute/factoid.)

One thing it did not mention was the sense of community. It's a place where you can hang out at the pool on a Sunday afternoon and barter works among neighbors, plan a night of margaritas and swim with a gal you use to lifeguard with when you were a teen. Where working for 16 hours during a primary election is a day full of stories and smiles.

It has the small town atmosphere yet it's close enough to DC to enjoy all it has to offer.

Our Mayor and his family own a sweet shop/cafe. If that doesn't say friggin adorable town, then ppfffllllttt! Oh and 3 words; Chocolate Lovers Festival. Really? need I say more?
So we don't have too many highly educated 24-35 yr olds living here. They are living in Arlington, ya know, wearing brown flip flops and hanging out at the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks...
Maybe I'm waxing whatever to make myself feel better about my current living situation. But if so, then I've convinced myself that for now, it is a best place to live.

Scenes from the weekend

scenes from the weekend

Opening night of artomatic
I worked my volunteer shift at the beginning of the night with a fellow named Walter who provided much amusement as we found out we hung out at the same places years ago. We got to unload the beer from the truck and help out some band members (like the nice guys in Petworth) with dropping off their equipment and such. Hosting skills came in handy as they switched me to the front door. great group of friends came for opening night. Mused about fellow artist works. amazed and inspired by many. felt very humbled and realized I really need to get my art act together more. hung out on 9th and 2nd floor until zombie mode kicked in.
******
On the metro ride home...
two white dudes in their 20s apparantly got in a fight. I say apparantly b/c I was asleep with my library book open, wearing a hoodie and sneaks surrounded by drunken 20 yr olds wearing so much hair gel and sequence and takings dozens of dig pics I thought I was on the gay pride train. The train got quiet and people started moving to our end of the car. The short and scrawnier of the guys had blood all over his face and crisp white shirt-doing what I call the "angry seahawk". It's when a guy puts his arms out in a comfrontation way against the other person in a fight and usually 'say sup man c'mon'. I wonder what the fight was about... who twitters better ashton or john mayer perhaps? I mean what do white kids in their 20s fight about on the metro? My student loans from GW are higher than yours?
*******
At the engagement party in Cville...
BBQ and cupcakes. cute name tags and hawaiian shirt. Her Dad plays in a band, which of course played at the party. She and her Mom danced the night away-big bonus points! My 19 month old neice totally stole the show with her hip swaying and even b girl moves on the dance floor. I danced with my Grandpa to sweet caroline and wondered how much longer he would remember the words to the song and be able to dance with his jazz hands. My 13 yr old nephew is in his OMG this is sooo embarrasing! stage. My Mom was able to wrangle him for a few minutes to dance with him until he noticed my Dad taking their picture. The end of the night winded down with promsies for a trip to a nearby vineyard the next day.
*****
in Cville
Met Jenn for a yummy lunch in downtown cville. Went back to my car to see my hood ornament gone. sigh. The next car I own won't have a cool logo. There were distinctive fingerprints around it, but the police just said to fill out an incident report out online. Hung out in the nearby salad shop while doing so and looking up info about repalcement emblems. Talked cars with one of the guys there. the salad shop was one that Heather and I had talked about and wished they had one in nova. Its basically make your own salad. left feeling better but with 3 holes on the hood of my car. Everytime I lave cville I want to turn right back around and stay there. Its beautiful, in the moutnains, not too far from the water or DC and plenty of vineyards and microbrews nearby. I could open a strawberry picking farm I thought as I drove home, towards the traffic, towards the passive agressive emails awaiting my inbox at the office where I stayed until past midnight on a Sunday finishing up work that apparantly no one else can do and since I left an hour early Friday, I have to pony up. Pay 43 bucks for a new emblem and look at plane tickets to Denver for the end of September. Think more about selling my place and just renting in the city.
****
The emblem
I thought about not buying another emblem for my car. saving the money and such. I mean, its like botoxing an 80 yr old hooker. my girl has seen her days. she gets me to where I need to be and thats what matters right now. and it rides well too. but the more I look at the 3 holes in the hood the more it looks like a hooker who's wig has been torn off. combine that with all the rest of my cars imperfections and it just highlights how my car is falling apaprt. So I'll put the ornament back on and try to save what little beauty and dignity my car has left. Dignity can be bought for 43 bucks.