where is my earth?

*insert primal scream here*.
ohh so much to write about the current financial crisis..but I won't. I'm too f' in exhausted. and we've heard enough. I just want to say if i was god i'd make it so every schmuck who has anything to do with the depletion of my f 'in assets (along w/ the rest of the world) should start profusely bleeding from their a holes. graphic I know. but its a lot tamer than the other things that, i, as god would have done. which is why i'm not god. no , I'm but a mere meek person waiting to inherit the earth. c'mooon earth.
so speaking of god and religion- all my tribe members- happy new year!
i could use a bottle of champagne for myself right now. not to celebrate..just to have something bubbly inside me. aside from the usual gas. but it bedtime. so its off to drinkign bedtime beverages -like listerine. or a hot totty- our family recipe was warm milk, scotch ad butter. or was it brandy? scotch brandy, whatevs the butter made it yummy. and thats how you put your children to bed- by spiking er enhancing milk with mild sedatives often used to alleviate teething pain. and cause liver scheloris and grandpa to gamble away the trust money.
sweet dreams. tomorrow is a new fiscal year..lets make it a good one.

out demon monsters! out!

ok so a new week with hopefully no psysho male bashing posts. I blame it on my brain being in a vice grip by sinus monsters. And possibly too much pepto bismo. which I found is useless when you're doubled over in abdominal diress until 3 am. pink stuff you failed me! onto homeopathic stuff like ginger tea, yoga, heroine. etc.

so some snippets from some convos from the weekend:
first convo:
at the public library check out counter
Librarian: Hi there, I can help you! do you need to just check out some items?
me: um, yeah and pay some fines too.
libararian: ok well let's see if we can check out the books first then take care of your fines (scans my library card) hmm..oh um, no it appears we have to pay the fines first.
me: ok that's fine (whips out check book)
librarian (scanning the card again) hmm. um, this can't be right...let me try it again (scans card again) uh 90 dollars?...
me: yeah, that sounds about right. do I make the check out to FCPL?

Yes..I think I single handidly fund the FCPL Christmas dinner at mortons every year. I know as a daughter of a retired libarian I should be better. I was trying to be frugal and check out books instead of buying them at borders (computer langauge books) but the books got swallowed in my condo..and blah blah. I suck. as a new years reoslution i will not acrew any new fines. the lovely folks at FCPL will have to have a potluck christmas dinner this year, sorry folks.

another convo:
mom: hey G, father kevin was saying that they're going to have a blessing of the animlas at the church on friday! you should bring Pica there!
dad: nanette, it's a blessing, not an exorcism!
I seriously may bring her...if not then I think i'll siphon some holy water out of the hand dipping bowls and put some in my cats water bowl. maybe the evil rug uninator demons and ankle biting kitty bitch smacking demons will finally begone from her feline body. b gone! I comand you urine demons! stop making angry biscuit noises at 5am!

another convo:
A: where are you?
G: um, well you called my home phone, so I'm currently walking into my bedroom..why?
A; oh right, well, I'm trapped
G um. like mentlaly emotionally physically?
A: in my basement. my bright light that my family is locked me in the basement before leaving for NJ. the doors and windows that go outside are alarmed and my dad locked the door that goes rom the main floor down to the basement.
G: so you either have to find a hatchet and break through the door that goes upstairs or set off the alarm.
A: or somehow get jagger (family dog) to disable the alarm
G: how about when you open the back door then I'll open the front door and disable the alarm
A: you'd need a key to get into the front door bright light. see, I knew you were like family!
G i meant..you can somehow um squeeze a key under the door and I can run up tp the front and unlock ..ok fine i've only had one cup of coffee!

update: she was able to open the back door, run to the front of the house and disarm the alarm in the set amount of time. and no, her family did not lock her in her basement on purpose- as much as that would make for a a more intersting story.

oh and guess who got a photo of tiki barber on saturday?..and no I don't mean I bought a photo of him. yes I was feet (ok maybe 20) away from his hotness.

fall for books you crafty bastards!

So a bunch of evenst are going on this week(end).

first we have fall for the book festiavl at GMU (and vicinity) until Saturday.

then we have the naitonal book festival on the mall. 4 words: salman rusdie and tiki barber, ok thats 5 words if you inlcude the "and" but whatevs.

Now for Arts (as opposed to the literary arts, these are visual and performing arts...)

Friday is the opening for the Ansel Admas and Geoegia O Keefe exhibit at the Amercain Art Museum. Ongoing at the Corcoran is the Richard Avedon exhibit

Saturday we have Arts by George at GMU.

And lets not forget on Sunday is Crafty Bastards in Adams Morgan.

Also, International Graduate University is playing at DC9 tomorrow (Thursday) night with a couple other bands. If I get my homework done in time I will def seee them. Yes I know I just sounded like an 8th grader but f it. Welcome to my life. want a sip of this yummy grape flavored pepto bismo?
Oh and call in the national guard...we have an emergency here of epic proportions. all the single men here are douchebags. something has turned them all into major f'in tool bags. except you, if you are single and reading this blog, you are exempt. b/c just by reading this makes you awesome and not a friggin jackass. and no, I will not turn lesbo. not that there is anything wrong with it.

oh which reminds me- the VA Wine Festival is this weekend at the Prince William County fairgrounds. go drink. be happy. wine makes everything better. except hangovers. oof. they have shuttle bus service out there, so you can fully enjoy your vino.

If you are interested in attending any of these events, lemme know.

oh and don't bake before bed. unlesss you want to know what a tray of brownies looks like after being in the oven for four hours. And if you do, well, I have pictures. so much for my contribution to the NAEA bake sale. Maybe I need to hold a baksesale of my own, the I still havent' gotten monies for student loan yet and I have a tuition payment coming up in 2 weeks and I have no f'in clue how I'm going to make it. Where the hell is that pepto bismo...
lotto. I need to play lotto. b/c I can't find a sugar daddy b/c all single men are douchebags.
and my feng shui money tree plant is official dead. ominous. ugh.
dead plants, bills I don't have denero to pay, a tray of charcoal aka dead brownies, and a certain someone hasn't contacted me. no, its not the prize patrol, although that would be awesome. but I gots my grape flavored..-hey why don't they put the same crap that they put in cough syrups to make ya all loopy in this pink crap? I mean, throw a sister a bone!
off to make a hair appointment at the student salon place. yup, haircuttery is currently out of my budget. good times.
this pepto should really have some sudafed or meth or something in it.

cupcake taste testers needed!!!

CUPCAKE TASTERS NEEDED! SUNDAY NIGHT!

Its part of a research assignment I'm doing. seriously. I'm thinking my place. let me know if you're up for it. You will be rewarded with yummy baked goods, and if need be, a hug. from me. that's priceless really. so seriously, let me know if you can make it. my place is CUE bus accessible. break out your mason IDs and get a free ride.



OK I have to admit something. I went to the CWs website and looked at thier playlist. and seriously...some of the music is good. ok maybe its b/c i'm in a numbed state of hysteria right now. that very well could be why. well, not hysteria. just. ughh. i hate visio and all it embodies. i hate PCs. i hate friggin PCs that can't multitask more than one adobe application before crapping out. right as you were trying to save a huge project you are working on.
how'd you guess I hadn't saved for like 2 hours b/c I was on a roll.
and by roll I mean I was under the gun. b/c I was told at 2 pm today that I needed to have a prototype of a very huge project done by COB today.
why today of all days. grr.
normally i would go into workaholic mode. eat the secreat stash of ramen i have in my desk and work until I started seeing double and the security guards would stand post otuside my door.
but I have plans for tonight. and I won't cancel these plans. for many reasons.
so instead I will go into freak out mode and see what i can whip up in the next ooh 20 minutes.
crap.
shakes fist of rage. bites fist to muffle primal screams.

takes deep breath.

remembers what an awesome morning had when visting the 1st and 4th grad art classes.

smiles. goes back to listening to CW music and looking forward to the evening.

c'mon cupcakes! let me know if you're in!