Long Live Midgets!--Literally.
Women taller than 5-foot-2 may be missing a gene mutation that helps them reach their 100th birthday, according to a study in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Suck it tall people! I will out-live your asses to see the apocolpyse!
...this is what a lifetime of having to hem pants and dresses will do to a gal. midget rage.
Cut off his pair if you can't jog in a pair
In the past week there have been two incidents in the DC metro area of female joggers being assulated. One incident was in broad fuckin daylight on the W & OD. the asshole was a white dude on a cruiser bike. The other incident was in rock creek park and the asshole was a drunken latino. The media and police are of course urging women to run in pairs.
How sad is it in todays world where a woman cannot go for a jog by herself w/out the fear of being raped? Sometimes running by yourself is the best form of therapy. I will take a path in the outdoors over a treadmill anyday, but now, not so much.
So I'm going to develop this special belt to wear while jogging. A holster if you will. It will hold mace/pepper spray, a knife, a cell phone w/digital camera, flares and marbles.
So it works like this- you first mace the dude, but if that doesn't do the trick then you cut his dick off with the knife. then you take a picture of the asshole with the cell phones digital camera as you call 911. then to help out the police you light off flares to make it easier for them to find the dickless bastard. and last but not least, the marbles to leave them in a path behind you for him to trip on a la scooby doo style.
I'm wondering hwo long it will take to patent this device. I need to make it light weight, stylish, yet effective.
Clean Sweep!
I'm getting a roommate shortly. Which means I need to get rid of about half my belongings, aka crap, to make room for her. It's going to be a good thing. I need to clean house and I need a bit of a restart as well.
I'm trying to pretend I'm in an episode of TLC's clean sweep. Though it would really help if I had a handsome English dude telling me what to throw away. And it seems I'm constantly on commercial break, meaning I um haven't exactly started yet. But I will soon. soon! yes..after these short messgaes...
Leaving on a a jet plane....
I'm going on a two week long vacation to the west coast. more specifically SF California, Canada and Alaska. I'm beyond excited. I can't wait to see my friends in SF and I've been wanting to go to Alaska for years. We're doing an Alaskan cruise- so not too much time in AK, but still, any bit I can get, I'll be estatic. AND this is the longest vacation I've been on! And no, this does not mean I'm money bags, it means my friend Heather and I are frugal ass dealin biatches. We're going on bike tours instead of aerial tours. and etc. The countdown begins...
follow me on twitter while I'm out there..well, if I can get cell reception while out there. and yes, my twitter name is geezthings
People who rock
A) Remy. watch all his videos If you don't laugh, then you're lame. or a douche. or an asshole.
B)Noodle and Co. in Old Town Fairfax. We sampled the entire menu last Thursday and I am still in noodle bliss. The Shift Lead "E" is adorable, and we all said with brick of rice krispy in hand that we'd love to work there.
C) damnit, I can't remember.
D) Michele from Criaglist for selling her vintage road bike to me! Yay!
E) Ben for showing Heather the ad on Craigslist for the bike
F) Raye Anne for helping me de-install my exhibit
G) Rebecca my awesome neighbor for driving me to the metro when I was sans wheels last week
H) er...crap...there was something else...
I) Heather, for showing me the Craigslist ad that Ben showed her
J)...j..j..j.... .. . . . .
K) the makers of beer and wine and spirits. which I could use right now. apparantly.
stay tuned for the list of ppl who make me drink! ..kidding. er. m. nope.
A) Remy. watch all his videos If you don't laugh, then you're lame. or a douche. or an asshole.
B)Noodle and Co. in Old Town Fairfax. We sampled the entire menu last Thursday and I am still in noodle bliss. The Shift Lead "E" is adorable, and we all said with brick of rice krispy in hand that we'd love to work there.
C) damnit, I can't remember.
D) Michele from Criaglist for selling her vintage road bike to me! Yay!
E) Ben for showing Heather the ad on Craigslist for the bike
F) Raye Anne for helping me de-install my exhibit
G) Rebecca my awesome neighbor for driving me to the metro when I was sans wheels last week
H) er...crap...there was something else...
I) Heather, for showing me the Craigslist ad that Ben showed her
J)...j..j..j.... .. . . . .
K) the makers of beer and wine and spirits. which I could use right now. apparantly.
stay tuned for the list of ppl who make me drink! ..kidding. er. m. nope.
so um, apparantly there was an annoucement made on at least one of the orange line trains yesterday that they would not be stopping by the dunn loring line. a DCist reader heard it. me, not so much. maybe b/c I only got on one stop. and ppl don't normally take metro one stop.
so apparantly they didn't stop at dunn loring b/c the train was running behind schedule. So Dunn Loring isn't popular enough a stop to stop at. nope. not yours. go use some proactive and get more facebook friends Dunn Loring, then maybe metro will stop for you.
So a few years ago I had the experience of eating at Casa Blanca in Arlington, across from the cinema dafthouse. Until yesterday I thought it was a front for a brothel.
We walked in and were evntually greeted by a waitress wih a skirt so short her ass cheeks hung out when she walked in her knee high pleather spike heeled boots which tied her red halter top together as a certifieable hoochie outfit. All the waitresses wore this um, uniform.
The food was great. plantaines, yuca, empanadas, mmm. which we got about 45 mintes after we ordered. during that time several gentlemen would walk in, sit down at a table and a set of ass cheaks and boobs would great them and they would either get their food right away, or they would disapear to the room upstairs.
Casa Blanca closed over a year ago (I think) when some condos went up on the same block.
Yesterday I went to Shoppers Food Warehouse to do my usual go in to grab cat food and walk out w/50 bucks worth of food routine when I saw them; casa blanca tortillas. I looked at the address on the label, and sure enough it was listed at columbia pike! The place was legit, it wasn't a brothel. And if they did make some denero by selling some ass, then damn these are some good jalapenos tortilla made in a whorehouse.
which wait...when did the place close...and when were these packaged. ..
dios mio
I just finished watching a segment on wmusa 9 news " do we need men now that they have manufactured sperm?" everyone they inteviewed said we still need men. to cuddle, change the oil, kill bugs, put kids to bed at night, take out the trash and mow the lawn. They forgot a very important reason - to open up things. like jars. and can anyone help me get this drill bit out of my drill? I need to hang some shelves and stuff. by my self. no sperm needed! except for thr drill bit part. need to get the right bit into my bit part so i can screw some nails...no, not a euphanism. I'm talking about hardware here people!
so apparantly they didn't stop at dunn loring b/c the train was running behind schedule. So Dunn Loring isn't popular enough a stop to stop at. nope. not yours. go use some proactive and get more facebook friends Dunn Loring, then maybe metro will stop for you.
So a few years ago I had the experience of eating at Casa Blanca in Arlington, across from the cinema dafthouse. Until yesterday I thought it was a front for a brothel.
We walked in and were evntually greeted by a waitress wih a skirt so short her ass cheeks hung out when she walked in her knee high pleather spike heeled boots which tied her red halter top together as a certifieable hoochie outfit. All the waitresses wore this um, uniform.
The food was great. plantaines, yuca, empanadas, mmm. which we got about 45 mintes after we ordered. during that time several gentlemen would walk in, sit down at a table and a set of ass cheaks and boobs would great them and they would either get their food right away, or they would disapear to the room upstairs.
Casa Blanca closed over a year ago (I think) when some condos went up on the same block.
Yesterday I went to Shoppers Food Warehouse to do my usual go in to grab cat food and walk out w/50 bucks worth of food routine when I saw them; casa blanca tortillas. I looked at the address on the label, and sure enough it was listed at columbia pike! The place was legit, it wasn't a brothel. And if they did make some denero by selling some ass, then damn these are some good jalapenos tortilla made in a whorehouse.
which wait...when did the place close...and when were these packaged. ..
dios mio
I just finished watching a segment on wmusa 9 news " do we need men now that they have manufactured sperm?" everyone they inteviewed said we still need men. to cuddle, change the oil, kill bugs, put kids to bed at night, take out the trash and mow the lawn. They forgot a very important reason - to open up things. like jars. and can anyone help me get this drill bit out of my drill? I need to hang some shelves and stuff. by my self. no sperm needed! except for thr drill bit part. need to get the right bit into my bit part so i can screw some nails...no, not a euphanism. I'm talking about hardware here people!
So, I like to take metro. a simple statement, but there is much behind it. I won't bore you with all that lies behind this statement, which would include rants on nova drivers, the environment and such.
My car was in the shop for a couple days and luckily it's located near Dunn Loring metro. btw I really think my new mechanics are great. I'm almost afraid to tell you who they are b/c I don't want to jinx things. maybe later. but now its time to talk metro.
So I was abe to get to and fro work and the mechanics by way of metro buses and trains. it was easy and great and I was even contemplating switching to taking metro to work from now on and swallowing a few bucks difference b/c of the payoffs (mainly that tysons traffic makes me a vile venom filled human until about noon- and car reapirsmaintenace cost $$).
Then on my way to dunn loring from west falls church (yes, I took the merto one stop b/c the bus system in fairfax is lacking in um, oh common sense. I'll get to that on another post). But the train never stopped at Dunn Loring. Not even a pause or a break. The train kept on going and going until we got to Vienna. There weren't any service announcements whatsoever to indicate that we were not going to stop in Dunn Loring.
I got off at Vienna looking and listening for some sign or information about what just happened. I saw about half a dozen somewhat confused and panic stricken folks who remained on the plattform as we got bulldozed by thousands of pedestrians who apparantly failed the obstacle course lesson in gym class in the 1st grade (hint: you see a sedentary object, you fuckin weave around it bicthes, don't expect my "omfg what just happend" ass to move- oh and dont' touch my wicked sensitive skin with your razor ass sharp finger nails to indictae you'll be getting off at the next stop WE ARE ALL GETTING OFF THE TRAIN- IT'S THE END OF THE LINE. THE TRAIN IS STILL MOVING. EXCUSE ME FOR NOT THROWING MY BODY IN FRONT OF THE FUCKIN DOOR WHILE IT'S STILL MOVING..my skin gets sensitive at certain times of the month.. .ahem).
So we get back on the next train going towards NCAR and voila, and thank god the train stopped at Dunn Loring.
At first I was wicked pissed b/c I needed to get to my mechanics by closing time and I didn't plan in my time schedule for metro to go flying past my stop. I mean, does anyone?
When the tragedy of the red car trains happend a couple weeks ago I continued to take metro thinking OK, don't let one incident shake you. I'm big into 2nd chances. for the most part. er hmm. well anyway.
But now, I'm worried. Esp after seeing the 11 o clock news last night about a metro employee who was caught on camera texting! So before watching the news I was thinking omg, the signal failed like it did on the red line train a couple weeks ago! But now I'm wondering if it was some slackass metro employee texting someone and forgetting about stopping at dunn loring.
Dunn Loring may not be the most populated and used stop, but it's still there, like many things that you don't want to do, but have to anyway- like taxes and changing the toilet paper roll.
I wrote to metro. Filled out an official complaint form. I doubt I will hear back from them. I'm contemplating contacting Dr.Gridlock from washpost and greater greater washingotn, since they are usually in the know of metro issues.
So I'm trying to get away from driving to work b/c well, my car has over 100k miles and needs tires a fuckingen! yes kids, run flat sports tires last about 18 months. and they cost 3x as much as regular tires, which last 3x as long. but they have saved my ass on multiple occassions. b/c apparantly my car has a pension for driving over sharp objects like, ooh nails.
Right, so, milage off the mini and onto my bike. I got a bike map of fairfax county and I'm not afraid to use. it. it's awesome. oh I also heart my bike shop too. again, afraid of jinxing. but i'll reveal them soon.
So according to the bike map, and street that would make a nice direct route from fairfax to tysons is not bike friendly. so i will be weaving around the county to get to work. I may start tomorrow. start on that 72 miles to lose a pound o fat. so maybe taking the long way to work is a good thing.
My car was in the shop for a couple days and luckily it's located near Dunn Loring metro. btw I really think my new mechanics are great. I'm almost afraid to tell you who they are b/c I don't want to jinx things. maybe later. but now its time to talk metro.
So I was abe to get to and fro work and the mechanics by way of metro buses and trains. it was easy and great and I was even contemplating switching to taking metro to work from now on and swallowing a few bucks difference b/c of the payoffs (mainly that tysons traffic makes me a vile venom filled human until about noon- and car reapirsmaintenace cost $$).
Then on my way to dunn loring from west falls church (yes, I took the merto one stop b/c the bus system in fairfax is lacking in um, oh common sense. I'll get to that on another post). But the train never stopped at Dunn Loring. Not even a pause or a break. The train kept on going and going until we got to Vienna. There weren't any service announcements whatsoever to indicate that we were not going to stop in Dunn Loring.
I got off at Vienna looking and listening for some sign or information about what just happened. I saw about half a dozen somewhat confused and panic stricken folks who remained on the plattform as we got bulldozed by thousands of pedestrians who apparantly failed the obstacle course lesson in gym class in the 1st grade (hint: you see a sedentary object, you fuckin weave around it bicthes, don't expect my "omfg what just happend" ass to move- oh and dont' touch my wicked sensitive skin with your razor ass sharp finger nails to indictae you'll be getting off at the next stop WE ARE ALL GETTING OFF THE TRAIN- IT'S THE END OF THE LINE. THE TRAIN IS STILL MOVING. EXCUSE ME FOR NOT THROWING MY BODY IN FRONT OF THE FUCKIN DOOR WHILE IT'S STILL MOVING..my skin gets sensitive at certain times of the month.. .ahem).
So we get back on the next train going towards NCAR and voila, and thank god the train stopped at Dunn Loring.
At first I was wicked pissed b/c I needed to get to my mechanics by closing time and I didn't plan in my time schedule for metro to go flying past my stop. I mean, does anyone?
When the tragedy of the red car trains happend a couple weeks ago I continued to take metro thinking OK, don't let one incident shake you. I'm big into 2nd chances. for the most part. er hmm. well anyway.
But now, I'm worried. Esp after seeing the 11 o clock news last night about a metro employee who was caught on camera texting! So before watching the news I was thinking omg, the signal failed like it did on the red line train a couple weeks ago! But now I'm wondering if it was some slackass metro employee texting someone and forgetting about stopping at dunn loring.
Dunn Loring may not be the most populated and used stop, but it's still there, like many things that you don't want to do, but have to anyway- like taxes and changing the toilet paper roll.
I wrote to metro. Filled out an official complaint form. I doubt I will hear back from them. I'm contemplating contacting Dr.Gridlock from washpost and greater greater washingotn, since they are usually in the know of metro issues.
So I'm trying to get away from driving to work b/c well, my car has over 100k miles and needs tires a fuckingen! yes kids, run flat sports tires last about 18 months. and they cost 3x as much as regular tires, which last 3x as long. but they have saved my ass on multiple occassions. b/c apparantly my car has a pension for driving over sharp objects like, ooh nails.
Right, so, milage off the mini and onto my bike. I got a bike map of fairfax county and I'm not afraid to use. it. it's awesome. oh I also heart my bike shop too. again, afraid of jinxing. but i'll reveal them soon.
So according to the bike map, and street that would make a nice direct route from fairfax to tysons is not bike friendly. so i will be weaving around the county to get to work. I may start tomorrow. start on that 72 miles to lose a pound o fat. so maybe taking the long way to work is a good thing.
So the "little people" want to make it illegal to use the word midget. They're bringing it to the FCC.
As someone who is only 4 inches away from being a midget- yes, you little people heard me correctly I said the M word MIDGET! I love that word. Really. The way it rolls of the tongue like some vocaby latin word...midget.
I think the term "little people" sounds incredibly more demeaning. Children are called little people. Would you, as a vertically challanged adult want to be grouped in the same classification as humans who aren't potty trained ?
I think midget sounds much more technical. Scientific in fact. I can see someone in a lab coat, clipboard in hand, glasses on, peering into a microscope and say "yes in fact we found the midget gene. we need to start cathartization and increase 02 outputs in order to have the bionic marker complete." Could you see them say "little person" with the same staunch scientific demeanour? Mm nope.
If I was 4 inces shorter you bet your tall ass that I would demand to be called a midget. Scream it from the top of the step ladder! Midget! Say it w/your helium inflected voice! Embrace the word. Love the word. MMMMMidget.
*********************
So the Arlington snobbery has grown and in fact infected virtual lives. I'm talking about folks who live in Arlington who are not facebook friending those who live in Fairfax. Ok maybe the facebook friends request also came w/a very drunk message. But still.
Ok mister I made a funny video and became a youtube sensation, be that way, don't accept my virtual friendship. no hard feelings. really. I'm OK. I don't need to be one of your 4000 friends. I have my own pool of virtual friends who accept my friendship. pfflllt. Viva la fairfax bitches!
Oh and speaking of awesome youtube videos.
Literal Total eclipse of the heart
I really don't understand everyone's hard-on for Arlington. Ever since Dremos closed I find myself in DC more often. I mean, it has its awesomeness like the cinema drafthouse & etc. Maybe I am too old for the Arlington scene. Case in point:
A scene from a typical Arlington bar last week:
Me, wearing a VCU football t-shirt (this is funny b/c VCU doesn't have a football team. only 1 person got this)
Random dude at bar: Hey VCU football! hah, that's awesome! funny shirt since they don't have a team. I went there.
Me: You did? cool, when did you graduate?
Dude: 2006. When did you graduate?
Me: 1999.
Dude: Oh... um. uh. er.
Me: Yeah, so this t shirt is pretty much an antique. It's going to be worth a lot of money soon.
***********************
So Artomatic is done for the year. So sad. it was good times. met some great, talented folks. I'm def looking forward to next year. It sparked my hunger for doing art again and being more involved in the arts scene. Thanks to all those involved!
As someone who is only 4 inches away from being a midget- yes, you little people heard me correctly I said the M word MIDGET! I love that word. Really. The way it rolls of the tongue like some vocaby latin word...midget.
I think the term "little people" sounds incredibly more demeaning. Children are called little people. Would you, as a vertically challanged adult want to be grouped in the same classification as humans who aren't potty trained ?
I think midget sounds much more technical. Scientific in fact. I can see someone in a lab coat, clipboard in hand, glasses on, peering into a microscope and say "yes in fact we found the midget gene. we need to start cathartization and increase 02 outputs in order to have the bionic marker complete." Could you see them say "little person" with the same staunch scientific demeanour? Mm nope.
If I was 4 inces shorter you bet your tall ass that I would demand to be called a midget. Scream it from the top of the step ladder! Midget! Say it w/your helium inflected voice! Embrace the word. Love the word. MMMMMidget.
*********************
So the Arlington snobbery has grown and in fact infected virtual lives. I'm talking about folks who live in Arlington who are not facebook friending those who live in Fairfax. Ok maybe the facebook friends request also came w/a very drunk message. But still.
Ok mister I made a funny video and became a youtube sensation, be that way, don't accept my virtual friendship. no hard feelings. really. I'm OK. I don't need to be one of your 4000 friends. I have my own pool of virtual friends who accept my friendship. pfflllt. Viva la fairfax bitches!
Oh and speaking of awesome youtube videos.
Literal Total eclipse of the heart
I really don't understand everyone's hard-on for Arlington. Ever since Dremos closed I find myself in DC more often. I mean, it has its awesomeness like the cinema drafthouse & etc. Maybe I am too old for the Arlington scene. Case in point:
A scene from a typical Arlington bar last week:
Me, wearing a VCU football t-shirt (this is funny b/c VCU doesn't have a football team. only 1 person got this)
Random dude at bar: Hey VCU football! hah, that's awesome! funny shirt since they don't have a team. I went there.
Me: You did? cool, when did you graduate?
Dude: 2006. When did you graduate?
Me: 1999.
Dude: Oh... um. uh. er.
Me: Yeah, so this t shirt is pretty much an antique. It's going to be worth a lot of money soon.
***********************
So Artomatic is done for the year. So sad. it was good times. met some great, talented folks. I'm def looking forward to next year. It sparked my hunger for doing art again and being more involved in the arts scene. Thanks to all those involved!
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