So the "little people" want to make it illegal to use the word midget. They're bringing it to the FCC.
As someone who is only 4 inches away from being a midget- yes, you little people heard me correctly I said the M word MIDGET! I love that word. Really. The way it rolls of the tongue like some vocaby latin word...midget.
I think the term "little people" sounds incredibly more demeaning. Children are called little people. Would you, as a vertically challanged adult want to be grouped in the same classification as humans who aren't potty trained ?
I think midget sounds much more technical. Scientific in fact. I can see someone in a lab coat, clipboard in hand, glasses on, peering into a microscope and say "yes in fact we found the midget gene. we need to start cathartization and increase 02 outputs in order to have the bionic marker complete." Could you see them say "little person" with the same staunch scientific demeanour? Mm nope.
If I was 4 inces shorter you bet your tall ass that I would demand to be called a midget. Scream it from the top of the step ladder! Midget! Say it w/your helium inflected voice! Embrace the word. Love the word. MMMMMidget.
*********************
So the Arlington snobbery has grown and in fact infected virtual lives. I'm talking about folks who live in Arlington who are not facebook friending those who live in Fairfax. Ok maybe the facebook friends request also came w/a very drunk message. But still.
Ok mister I made a funny video and became a youtube sensation, be that way, don't accept my virtual friendship. no hard feelings. really. I'm OK. I don't need to be one of your 4000 friends. I have my own pool of virtual friends who accept my friendship. pfflllt. Viva la fairfax bitches!
Oh and speaking of awesome youtube videos.
Literal Total eclipse of the heart
I really don't understand everyone's hard-on for Arlington. Ever since Dremos closed I find myself in DC more often. I mean, it has its awesomeness like the cinema drafthouse & etc. Maybe I am too old for the Arlington scene. Case in point:
A scene from a typical Arlington bar last week:
Me, wearing a VCU football t-shirt (this is funny b/c VCU doesn't have a football team. only 1 person got this)
Random dude at bar: Hey VCU football! hah, that's awesome! funny shirt since they don't have a team. I went there.
Me: You did? cool, when did you graduate?
Dude: 2006. When did you graduate?
Me: 1999.
Dude: Oh... um. uh. er.
Me: Yeah, so this t shirt is pretty much an antique. It's going to be worth a lot of money soon.
***********************
So Artomatic is done for the year. So sad. it was good times. met some great, talented folks. I'm def looking forward to next year. It sparked my hunger for doing art again and being more involved in the arts scene. Thanks to all those involved!
With my cruise to Alaska a month away I have gone into panic mode. and by panic I mean emergency weight loss mode. bring on the whey shakes and hours of bike riding. I was reading recently that for someone of my weight to lose 1 lb of body fat I can bike 72 miles, run 34 or walk 42...oh and have 64 sessions of sex. which would equate to me needing to have um sessions ooh about um 1900 times. well, actually it'd be more, b/c for someone who weighs 30 bs less than me, they need to have fun times 79 times. So, since I am single, this is not an option. And with the whole HIV scare in the porn industry, it doesn't look like that(becoming a porn star) is an option for me right now as well. Well, that and the fact that I wouldn't want to destroy the good family name and all. plus ron jeremy is icky. and by icky i mean he look like something a walrus crapped out.
Although, that could make a good pick up line. "excuse me, but would you please help me in my weight loss goal? I need to have sex about 2000 times in order to fit into a bikini."
hmm. yeah. so on the bike I go! just need to pedal er over 2000 miles in a month! just 72 miles a day... hmm ...er. 2k happy times seems much more fun. But if you see some chick biking all around NOVA, it's prob me, b/c I still can't get a date.
Although, that could make a good pick up line. "excuse me, but would you please help me in my weight loss goal? I need to have sex about 2000 times in order to fit into a bikini."
hmm. yeah. so on the bike I go! just need to pedal er over 2000 miles in a month! just 72 miles a day... hmm ...er. 2k happy times seems much more fun. But if you see some chick biking all around NOVA, it's prob me, b/c I still can't get a date.
So in a post a week or so ago I wrote about how Fairfax CITY is the #3 place to live in by forbes. Not COUNTY. CITY. Yes our adorable little historic town which is surrounded by the ever growing and monstrous COUNTY.
So Proof positive that people in leadership roles are godamn idiots; a COUNTY board member wants to change the name of fairfax county to fairfax city. here, read on:
http://tiny.cc/xpgpQsigh
I'm just glad I wasn't part of electing this jackass to the board. OK here we go 1) you're a fuckin idiot. 2) don't try to steal out fuckin thunder. we're #3, not you, nope. us. with the good budgets and low taxes and crime rates stuff. pffllt. 3) do you have any fuckin clue how much money it would cost to rebrand all your shit from county to city 4) do you have any idea how much godamn confusion that would cause ppl? 5) do you know what that hole between your ass cheaks is? yeah its called your asshole which you are, so try not to speak form it.
The board members main argument is about road maintenance. The former supervisor, now a congressman thinks its a bad idea given the current budget shortfalls -ooh only 350 million gap. the current head supervisor thinks its ok to take a look at it. but she was also part of the whole 350 million gap too. so i reallly wouldn't trust her when it comes to making decisions on well, anything. maybe what color shoes she should wear. nah, she'd prob wear brown with black slacks.
wow, you know you're getting old when local politics piss you off.
I should use that energy to bike about 72 miles today
sam adams and um tequila and dos equis...er yeah
king size bed sheets- most esp fitted ones- can come in handy in case of fire. use them as a parachute- grab and jump from 3rd floor balcony. this hasn't been proven as safe as of yet. but ya know just in case.it's an idea and an option
there is no shame in jello wrestling. its important life skills really.
the minute the antibiotics kick in is right around happy hour.
begone swine flu as i await my hangover in the morning
king size bed sheets- most esp fitted ones- can come in handy in case of fire. use them as a parachute- grab and jump from 3rd floor balcony. this hasn't been proven as safe as of yet. but ya know just in case.it's an idea and an option
there is no shame in jello wrestling. its important life skills really.
the minute the antibiotics kick in is right around happy hour.
begone swine flu as i await my hangover in the morning
That's right folks! This gal here is a resident of the #3 Place to live in the U.S.! ...according to Forbes. That's totally the reason I haven't moved to the city yet...mm hmm. Not b/c there is no way I can sell my place in this market and I have to fix it up big time before I can rent it out. But yeah. ya know. Number 3! It makes me feel better about not having moved to the city yet and being in the 'burbs of DC.
The article cites various factors in their decision making process, such as tax rates, independent water sources (we get out water from a spring...it's even bottled-the brita filter in my fridge is only for emergencies), affordable living, and household income (89k! hahahhaa...I SO do not contribute to that attribute/factoid.)
One thing it did not mention was the sense of community. It's a place where you can hang out at the pool on a Sunday afternoon and barter works among neighbors, plan a night of margaritas and swim with a gal you use to lifeguard with when you were a teen. Where working for 16 hours during a primary election is a day full of stories and smiles.
It has the small town atmosphere yet it's close enough to DC to enjoy all it has to offer.
Our Mayor and his family own a sweet shop/cafe. If that doesn't say friggin adorable town, then ppfffllllttt! Oh and 3 words; Chocolate Lovers Festival. Really? need I say more?
So we don't have too many highly educated 24-35 yr olds living here. They are living in Arlington, ya know, wearing brown flip flops and hanging out at the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks...
Maybe I'm waxing whatever to make myself feel better about my current living situation. But if so, then I've convinced myself that for now, it is a best place to live.
The article cites various factors in their decision making process, such as tax rates, independent water sources (we get out water from a spring...it's even bottled-the brita filter in my fridge is only for emergencies), affordable living, and household income (89k! hahahhaa...I SO do not contribute to that attribute/factoid.)
One thing it did not mention was the sense of community. It's a place where you can hang out at the pool on a Sunday afternoon and barter works among neighbors, plan a night of margaritas and swim with a gal you use to lifeguard with when you were a teen. Where working for 16 hours during a primary election is a day full of stories and smiles.
It has the small town atmosphere yet it's close enough to DC to enjoy all it has to offer.
Our Mayor and his family own a sweet shop/cafe. If that doesn't say friggin adorable town, then ppfffllllttt! Oh and 3 words; Chocolate Lovers Festival. Really? need I say more?
So we don't have too many highly educated 24-35 yr olds living here. They are living in Arlington, ya know, wearing brown flip flops and hanging out at the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks...
Maybe I'm waxing whatever to make myself feel better about my current living situation. But if so, then I've convinced myself that for now, it is a best place to live.
scenes from the weekend
Opening night of artomatic
I worked my volunteer shift at the beginning of the night with a fellow named Walter who provided much amusement as we found out we hung out at the same places years ago. We got to unload the beer from the truck and help out some band members (like the nice guys in Petworth) with dropping off their equipment and such. Hosting skills came in handy as they switched me to the front door. great group of friends came for opening night. Mused about fellow artist works. amazed and inspired by many. felt very humbled and realized I really need to get my art act together more. hung out on 9th and 2nd floor until zombie mode kicked in.
******
On the metro ride home...
two white dudes in their 20s apparantly got in a fight. I say apparantly b/c I was asleep with my library book open, wearing a hoodie and sneaks surrounded by drunken 20 yr olds wearing so much hair gel and sequence and takings dozens of dig pics I thought I was on the gay pride train. The train got quiet and people started moving to our end of the car. The short and scrawnier of the guys had blood all over his face and crisp white shirt-doing what I call the "angry seahawk". It's when a guy puts his arms out in a comfrontation way against the other person in a fight and usually 'say sup man c'mon'. I wonder what the fight was about... who twitters better ashton or john mayer perhaps? I mean what do white kids in their 20s fight about on the metro? My student loans from GW are higher than yours?
*******
At the engagement party in Cville...
BBQ and cupcakes. cute name tags and hawaiian shirt. Her Dad plays in a band, which of course played at the party. She and her Mom danced the night away-big bonus points! My 19 month old neice totally stole the show with her hip swaying and even b girl moves on the dance floor. I danced with my Grandpa to sweet caroline and wondered how much longer he would remember the words to the song and be able to dance with his jazz hands. My 13 yr old nephew is in his OMG this is sooo embarrasing! stage. My Mom was able to wrangle him for a few minutes to dance with him until he noticed my Dad taking their picture. The end of the night winded down with promsies for a trip to a nearby vineyard the next day.
*****
in Cville
Met Jenn for a yummy lunch in downtown cville. Went back to my car to see my hood ornament gone. sigh. The next car I own won't have a cool logo. There were distinctive fingerprints around it, but the police just said to fill out an incident report out online. Hung out in the nearby salad shop while doing so and looking up info about repalcement emblems. Talked cars with one of the guys there. the salad shop was one that Heather and I had talked about and wished they had one in nova. Its basically make your own salad. left feeling better but with 3 holes on the hood of my car. Everytime I lave cville I want to turn right back around and stay there. Its beautiful, in the moutnains, not too far from the water or DC and plenty of vineyards and microbrews nearby. I could open a strawberry picking farm I thought as I drove home, towards the traffic, towards the passive agressive emails awaiting my inbox at the office where I stayed until past midnight on a Sunday finishing up work that apparantly no one else can do and since I left an hour early Friday, I have to pony up. Pay 43 bucks for a new emblem and look at plane tickets to Denver for the end of September. Think more about selling my place and just renting in the city.
****
The emblem
I thought about not buying another emblem for my car. saving the money and such. I mean, its like botoxing an 80 yr old hooker. my girl has seen her days. she gets me to where I need to be and thats what matters right now. and it rides well too. but the more I look at the 3 holes in the hood the more it looks like a hooker who's wig has been torn off. combine that with all the rest of my cars imperfections and it just highlights how my car is falling apaprt. So I'll put the ornament back on and try to save what little beauty and dignity my car has left. Dignity can be bought for 43 bucks.
Opening night of artomatic
I worked my volunteer shift at the beginning of the night with a fellow named Walter who provided much amusement as we found out we hung out at the same places years ago. We got to unload the beer from the truck and help out some band members (like the nice guys in Petworth) with dropping off their equipment and such. Hosting skills came in handy as they switched me to the front door. great group of friends came for opening night. Mused about fellow artist works. amazed and inspired by many. felt very humbled and realized I really need to get my art act together more. hung out on 9th and 2nd floor until zombie mode kicked in.
******
On the metro ride home...
two white dudes in their 20s apparantly got in a fight. I say apparantly b/c I was asleep with my library book open, wearing a hoodie and sneaks surrounded by drunken 20 yr olds wearing so much hair gel and sequence and takings dozens of dig pics I thought I was on the gay pride train. The train got quiet and people started moving to our end of the car. The short and scrawnier of the guys had blood all over his face and crisp white shirt-doing what I call the "angry seahawk". It's when a guy puts his arms out in a comfrontation way against the other person in a fight and usually 'say sup man c'mon'. I wonder what the fight was about... who twitters better ashton or john mayer perhaps? I mean what do white kids in their 20s fight about on the metro? My student loans from GW are higher than yours?
*******
At the engagement party in Cville...
BBQ and cupcakes. cute name tags and hawaiian shirt. Her Dad plays in a band, which of course played at the party. She and her Mom danced the night away-big bonus points! My 19 month old neice totally stole the show with her hip swaying and even b girl moves on the dance floor. I danced with my Grandpa to sweet caroline and wondered how much longer he would remember the words to the song and be able to dance with his jazz hands. My 13 yr old nephew is in his OMG this is sooo embarrasing! stage. My Mom was able to wrangle him for a few minutes to dance with him until he noticed my Dad taking their picture. The end of the night winded down with promsies for a trip to a nearby vineyard the next day.
*****
in Cville
Met Jenn for a yummy lunch in downtown cville. Went back to my car to see my hood ornament gone. sigh. The next car I own won't have a cool logo. There were distinctive fingerprints around it, but the police just said to fill out an incident report out online. Hung out in the nearby salad shop while doing so and looking up info about repalcement emblems. Talked cars with one of the guys there. the salad shop was one that Heather and I had talked about and wished they had one in nova. Its basically make your own salad. left feeling better but with 3 holes on the hood of my car. Everytime I lave cville I want to turn right back around and stay there. Its beautiful, in the moutnains, not too far from the water or DC and plenty of vineyards and microbrews nearby. I could open a strawberry picking farm I thought as I drove home, towards the traffic, towards the passive agressive emails awaiting my inbox at the office where I stayed until past midnight on a Sunday finishing up work that apparantly no one else can do and since I left an hour early Friday, I have to pony up. Pay 43 bucks for a new emblem and look at plane tickets to Denver for the end of September. Think more about selling my place and just renting in the city.
****
The emblem
I thought about not buying another emblem for my car. saving the money and such. I mean, its like botoxing an 80 yr old hooker. my girl has seen her days. she gets me to where I need to be and thats what matters right now. and it rides well too. but the more I look at the 3 holes in the hood the more it looks like a hooker who's wig has been torn off. combine that with all the rest of my cars imperfections and it just highlights how my car is falling apaprt. So I'll put the ornament back on and try to save what little beauty and dignity my car has left. Dignity can be bought for 43 bucks.
Yes, the anticipation of the event deserved an all caps headline.
I went to artomatic for, embarrisngly I might say, the first time. I know, I suck as someone working in the arts field living in metro-ish DC area to not have been to it the other previous oooh 8 years. ooh but wait, I was in um richmond like 9 yrs ago. so there!
So last year I vowed I would participate this year. Goal acomplished! But alas, what did I do, even with a years worth of planning? I kept changing my mind on what I wanted to display and at the very last minute I embarked on a half a dozen different projects and threw something together at the last minute. So it's definaltely not the best representation of my work. But its not 100% crap either. well art is subjective.
If you have never heard of Artomatic, I put together a little FAQ for ya'll. a little more personal than the www.artomatic.org site gives ya
Q: What is Artomatic?
A: It's a 5 week long art showcase in Washington DC. There will be close to 1000 visual artist and hundreds of performance artist including musicians and dancers.
Q: When is it?
A: Opening night is this Friday May 29th and it goes until July 5th!
Q: How much does artomatic cost?
A: It's FREEEEE! although donations are greaty appreciated. This is an all volunteer based event. From the security personnel to the bartenders and etc.
Q Where is it it located?
A This year it is located at the Navy Yard Metro - Nationals park exit. Yes, the building is directly on top of the metro exit. Liteally. Come out of the metro and take a right, then take another right to get into the main doors. I highly encourage metro-ing there.
Q: But I can't ride metro b/c I get motion sickness/I'm agoraphobic/joe biden told me not to in order to avoid swine flu.
A: There is parking available- however, please look at the Nationals schedule before heading over. If there is a game, then parking is limited or wicked $$. OR make a day of it- drive in for a Nats game and come see the show! Let me know, I'd love to join:)
Q: What floor is your installation located?
A: The 2nd floor. my installation is pretty random and w/out much direction. much like my life. or my english papers. Please also see my dear frind Heather Borra o Donnell on the 9th floor.
Q: Is the artwork for sale?
A: It depends on each artist. If you do want to purchase a piece please note that artwork cannot leave the building until the end of the show-for security reasons. There is a marketplace which will be open on select nigts where artsts can set up tables and such and you can bring your shwag home w/you that day.
Q: Is this a family friendly event?
A: If your "family" is OK w/seeing nudes- both male nd female- um, then um congrats? er. Our artist -esp on the floor I'm on, really like to use their freedom of expression and the right to bare, well a lot more than arms. So use your own judgdement or see this as a time to teach junior about nudity and art- real art- not the ladies who are missing their clothing in daddy's magazines.
Q: Will there be beverages - mainly alcoholic ones? esp after I see them nude paintings near the elevators on your floor.
A: yes, there will be 4 bars throughout the building plus mobile drink carts! warning pleassseee bring your ID. We are told we need to card everyone. yes even -80 yr olds. not my rules. and if we don't follow the rules we'll be blacklisted for future artomatic events. All proceeds from beverage sales go to the operation of artomatic.
Q : Is this why we haven't seen/heard from you and you didn't congratuate me on my birth of a child/divorce/b day/breakup/growth on my neck.
A: pretty much/congrats!/congrats..er/happy birthday/congrats, I mean sorry/you really should get that checked out but I have a lovely scarf for you to borrow in the meantime.
Q: DC is kinda a hike for me. I'd be up for a weekend trip if thee is crash space available.
A: my place can sleep about 5. 6 if you're skinny and you like to spoon. or both. I promise I will have my cat's valium prescription refilled by then.
Q: How long does it take to see all the work?
A: 9 floors /1000 artists...it's like the louvre, you can't do it in a few minutes. Ok so its not exactly like the louvre-dan brown hasn't written a book about us and ya know, we're not in france...and stuff.. ok whatever. lots of stuff. take lots of time. enjoy. come back often!
Q:Are there any special nights to come, iek say, meet the artist night?
A: Yes, Funny you should ask! June 13th is meet the artist night!
Q: your cat's on valium?
A: you think these marks are from losing a battle with a ninja? no, these are from not feeding a feral cat at 5 a.m.
Q: Whom do you feel best explemifies your work in a time period persona nothwithsatanding the idealism behind impresisonism and the like?
A: dude, its called artomatic and I have a BFA from the top rated state art school in the country. so pffflllllt. leave your pretenses at the door and enjoy the show. and get a tattoo while you're there. I am ;)
I went to artomatic for, embarrisngly I might say, the first time. I know, I suck as someone working in the arts field living in metro-ish DC area to not have been to it the other previous oooh 8 years. ooh but wait, I was in um richmond like 9 yrs ago. so there!
So last year I vowed I would participate this year. Goal acomplished! But alas, what did I do, even with a years worth of planning? I kept changing my mind on what I wanted to display and at the very last minute I embarked on a half a dozen different projects and threw something together at the last minute. So it's definaltely not the best representation of my work. But its not 100% crap either. well art is subjective.
If you have never heard of Artomatic, I put together a little FAQ for ya'll. a little more personal than the www.artomatic.org site gives ya
Q: What is Artomatic?
A: It's a 5 week long art showcase in Washington DC. There will be close to 1000 visual artist and hundreds of performance artist including musicians and dancers.
Q: When is it?
A: Opening night is this Friday May 29th and it goes until July 5th!
Q: How much does artomatic cost?
A: It's FREEEEE! although donations are greaty appreciated. This is an all volunteer based event. From the security personnel to the bartenders and etc.
Q Where is it it located?
A This year it is located at the Navy Yard Metro - Nationals park exit. Yes, the building is directly on top of the metro exit. Liteally. Come out of the metro and take a right, then take another right to get into the main doors. I highly encourage metro-ing there.
Q: But I can't ride metro b/c I get motion sickness/I'm agoraphobic/joe biden told me not to in order to avoid swine flu.
A: There is parking available- however, please look at the Nationals schedule before heading over. If there is a game, then parking is limited or wicked $$. OR make a day of it- drive in for a Nats game and come see the show! Let me know, I'd love to join:)
Q: What floor is your installation located?
A: The 2nd floor. my installation is pretty random and w/out much direction. much like my life. or my english papers. Please also see my dear frind Heather Borra o Donnell on the 9th floor.
Q: Is the artwork for sale?
A: It depends on each artist. If you do want to purchase a piece please note that artwork cannot leave the building until the end of the show-for security reasons. There is a marketplace which will be open on select nigts where artsts can set up tables and such and you can bring your shwag home w/you that day.
Q: Is this a family friendly event?
A: If your "family" is OK w/seeing nudes- both male nd female- um, then um congrats? er. Our artist -esp on the floor I'm on, really like to use their freedom of expression and the right to bare, well a lot more than arms. So use your own judgdement or see this as a time to teach junior about nudity and art- real art- not the ladies who are missing their clothing in daddy's magazines.
Q: Will there be beverages - mainly alcoholic ones? esp after I see them nude paintings near the elevators on your floor.
A: yes, there will be 4 bars throughout the building plus mobile drink carts! warning pleassseee bring your ID. We are told we need to card everyone. yes even -80 yr olds. not my rules. and if we don't follow the rules we'll be blacklisted for future artomatic events. All proceeds from beverage sales go to the operation of artomatic.
Q : Is this why we haven't seen/heard from you and you didn't congratuate me on my birth of a child/divorce/b day/breakup/growth on my neck.
A: pretty much/congrats!/congrats..er/happy birthday/congrats, I mean sorry/you really should get that checked out but I have a lovely scarf for you to borrow in the meantime.
Q: DC is kinda a hike for me. I'd be up for a weekend trip if thee is crash space available.
A: my place can sleep about 5. 6 if you're skinny and you like to spoon. or both. I promise I will have my cat's valium prescription refilled by then.
Q: How long does it take to see all the work?
A: 9 floors /1000 artists...it's like the louvre, you can't do it in a few minutes. Ok so its not exactly like the louvre-dan brown hasn't written a book about us and ya know, we're not in france...and stuff.. ok whatever. lots of stuff. take lots of time. enjoy. come back often!
Q:Are there any special nights to come, iek say, meet the artist night?
A: Yes, Funny you should ask! June 13th is meet the artist night!
Q: your cat's on valium?
A: you think these marks are from losing a battle with a ninja? no, these are from not feeding a feral cat at 5 a.m.
Q: Whom do you feel best explemifies your work in a time period persona nothwithsatanding the idealism behind impresisonism and the like?
A: dude, its called artomatic and I have a BFA from the top rated state art school in the country. so pffflllllt. leave your pretenses at the door and enjoy the show. and get a tattoo while you're there. I am ;)
What is this I see before my eyes..oculd it be. No. no, it simply can't. It's been so long, I almost have forgotten what it looks like.i.it is..SUN! Holy bajesus there is a break in the monsoon and the clouds have opened and the heavens are shining upon us ..ahh euphoria on a Friday Good times.
Speaking of jesus and heaven and stuff...
Signs you perhaps drink a little too much beer. microbrews at that: during your nephew's confirmation ceremony, you notice that the Bishop's staff looks a lot like the tap handle for Magic Hat 9.
see:
and
I mean, it does seem appropriate b/c at times, or for some, drinking can be a religious experince. Some find god in church, I often times find it in a nice pint of beer.
So in my last post I made mention of growing a balcony full of fruitful vegetative bounty...from seed. Some might call this a recession garden. well, perhaps if I started planting the seeds when the recession started then I would have a garden by now.
Right now I have a bunch of 2 inch high seedlings. Which I can't tell appart except for the squash. Why? b/c er when I went to take them out of their starter pods into some cow pots (pots made out of cow manure!) and place them on the balcony to start their "hardening" phase. I um, I pulled a Gina (pulling a Gina can mean two things 1) that you do some klutzy thing that normally only happens in qauasi slapstick movies a la bridgette jones or 2) you fall alseep on a really comfy couch when a party is in full swing) I tripped and soil, pots seedlings went flying all over my balcony. my perfectly mapped out plan of where everything was planted was moot. On the plus side, I was able to save most of the seedlings and replant them.
So I have no idea what anything growing is at the moment. And holy crap does it take godamn long to grow stuff from seeds! And things that you think would be easy to grow like ooh petunias, yeah not so easy. But whatever, my organic hybrid heirloom tomatoes are doing well. I think. Or is that the basil? I try veery hard not to stop by those stands in shopping centers and buy already grown and ripe plants. must resist. I can do this. Stop taunting me you lucsious tomatoes, I will not take you home with me! ...I'm talking to fruit. this may be yet another reason why I am single.
Signs you are getting old...
You get excited about a sale at an upscale womens boutique outlet store aka Talbots. Where you run into your Mom.
And spekaing of my Mom. For mothers day there is something I want to give my Mom, but there is no way. I want to give her her sight back. She's currently learning brail. My Mom has Retinitis Pigmentosa. RP is a degneration of the rods and cones in retina your eyes. Night blindness, tunnel vision, cateracs and eventual blindness.
She has been classified as legally blind since 1976. So she has been legally blind before I was even born. We were always aware of her RP. Oftentimes it doens't phase me. Growing up bumming rides off ppl, or taking her arm at night to guide her are all part of normal life.
I sometimes think the reason I went into the art field was that I felt that since I am the only member of my family with perfect vision (supposidly) that I was to carry on the family art trade. use my gift of sight.
But the bittersweetness of that is there will come a time when my Mom won't be able to see the work I create. And if I continue with my current suckass luck with men, she probably won't see me get married or have children. But she is here with me, physically, emotionally, spiritually, as a hero, a friend, and a confidant....
and if you there a paaaartay aaaand invited everyone you knewwwwww you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the caaard attached would say Thank you for being a friend....
RIP Bea Arthur. Good night funny lady. glad I was able to see you in 2002. thanks for the memories.
Speaking of jesus and heaven and stuff...
Signs you perhaps drink a little too much beer. microbrews at that: during your nephew's confirmation ceremony, you notice that the Bishop's staff looks a lot like the tap handle for Magic Hat 9.
see:
and
I mean, it does seem appropriate b/c at times, or for some, drinking can be a religious experince. Some find god in church, I often times find it in a nice pint of beer.
So in my last post I made mention of growing a balcony full of fruitful vegetative bounty...from seed. Some might call this a recession garden. well, perhaps if I started planting the seeds when the recession started then I would have a garden by now.
Right now I have a bunch of 2 inch high seedlings. Which I can't tell appart except for the squash. Why? b/c er when I went to take them out of their starter pods into some cow pots (pots made out of cow manure!) and place them on the balcony to start their "hardening" phase. I um, I pulled a Gina (pulling a Gina can mean two things 1) that you do some klutzy thing that normally only happens in qauasi slapstick movies a la bridgette jones or 2) you fall alseep on a really comfy couch when a party is in full swing) I tripped and soil, pots seedlings went flying all over my balcony. my perfectly mapped out plan of where everything was planted was moot. On the plus side, I was able to save most of the seedlings and replant them.
So I have no idea what anything growing is at the moment. And holy crap does it take godamn long to grow stuff from seeds! And things that you think would be easy to grow like ooh petunias, yeah not so easy. But whatever, my organic hybrid heirloom tomatoes are doing well. I think. Or is that the basil? I try veery hard not to stop by those stands in shopping centers and buy already grown and ripe plants. must resist. I can do this. Stop taunting me you lucsious tomatoes, I will not take you home with me! ...I'm talking to fruit. this may be yet another reason why I am single.
Signs you are getting old...
You get excited about a sale at an upscale womens boutique outlet store aka Talbots. Where you run into your Mom.
And spekaing of my Mom. For mothers day there is something I want to give my Mom, but there is no way. I want to give her her sight back. She's currently learning brail. My Mom has Retinitis Pigmentosa. RP is a degneration of the rods and cones in retina your eyes. Night blindness, tunnel vision, cateracs and eventual blindness.
She has been classified as legally blind since 1976. So she has been legally blind before I was even born. We were always aware of her RP. Oftentimes it doens't phase me. Growing up bumming rides off ppl, or taking her arm at night to guide her are all part of normal life.
I sometimes think the reason I went into the art field was that I felt that since I am the only member of my family with perfect vision (supposidly) that I was to carry on the family art trade. use my gift of sight.
But the bittersweetness of that is there will come a time when my Mom won't be able to see the work I create. And if I continue with my current suckass luck with men, she probably won't see me get married or have children. But she is here with me, physically, emotionally, spiritually, as a hero, a friend, and a confidant....
and if you there a paaaartay aaaand invited everyone you knewwwwww you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the caaard attached would say Thank you for being a friend....
RIP Bea Arthur. Good night funny lady. glad I was able to see you in 2002. thanks for the memories.
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